TokYO.

In many ways Tokyo is exactly how I imagined it: full of art, beautiful gardens, clean streets, respectful people, and bursting with amazing food. But I didn’t expect beer to be cheaper than tea! That’s just one of the random things I’ve found in Tokyo…

Things I’ve seen in Tokyo:
– the most beautifully dressed & groomed people. They take beauty and cleanliness very seriously. I even checked out an onsen one day… it’s a public bathing facility. It’s an experience…
very old people walking hunched over with a cane, who are about 3′ tall. Many Japanese live very long lives, and the sterotypical elder looks like a cartoon character – so sweet.
– an iPhone5 in four out of five hands. Don’t let anyone see you have an iPhone4, cause that is so 2012. You can’t even buy accessories for it.
– women in Kimonos, even on the subway.
– women acting like dolls: pigtails, short frilly dress, and a super high-pitched voice. They’re “cosplay” girls.
– Men with large purses, cause small purses are for women.
– Men in suits sleeping anywhere. The first night I arrived I saw a man in a nice suit curled up on the ground outside a Karaoke bar. Yesterday a man fell asleep standing on the subway. Both hands were clutched to handles above him as he swayed side to side, back and forth with the train. The lady sitting under him looked frightened but politely allowed him to sway over her. Today a man at the mall was sleeping with his laptop open, both hands on the keyboard, mouth gaping, and head cocked straight back on the couch.
– vending machines everywhere. They sell mostly drinks and cigarettes, and sometimes you order ramen (noodle soup) with them.

Things I haven’t seen in Tokyo:
– a speck of dirt
– a traffic jam. Because over 6 million people are in the metro every day (wikipedia).
– garbage bins. I can never find one when I need one, but there’s never any litter on the streets either.

…And that’s just Tokyo!

This adventure’s pictures are on Flickr:
Amyleajacobs’ Tokyo Photos on Flickr

 

 

Magic Bali.

It’s been over a year since I struck a Yoga pose, but I couldn’t leave the Yoga capital of the world without doing a class. So I walked into the Yoga Barn in Bali ready to make a fool of myself, but halfway through I received an applause! There’s this pose called crow where you balance on your hands with your knees tucked under your bent arms and your feet off the ground. The teacher saw me do it with ease, so he pointed me out to the entire class. They watched in awe as I jumped from downward dog into this handstand-ish balance position, then into a headstand where I played around with my legs in the air, then folded gracefully back down into crow pose. Ta-da, magic!  The teacher, a Yoga master for 15 years in Bali, told me I have the potential to be a pro yogi in Bali with just 3 years of practice. I’ll think about it.

If I had a Million Dong…

…I’d have $50 USD.

The currency in Vietnam is called Dong. 20,000 Dong equals $1 USD. So, If I had a million dong, I’d have $50. That’s it. To buy a new iPhone (actually used, and probably stolen) from one of the 30 vendors in Ho Chi Minh Chinatown you’ll need 6,200,000.00 dong, cash.

So I bought an iPhone for six million dong. I’ll be extra careful with this one…

I’m adding to my list of Things I learned in Asia that you shouldn’t hold your phone out in public, especially within arms reach of motorbikes. I was in Phnom Pehn, Cambodia, holding my iPhone in both hands looking down at Google Maps, and then it was gone – swiped out of my hands by a man on the back of a motorbike. I shouted and mindlessly ran after them down the middle of the street, then my flip flop flew off and I watched it tumble across the road. Did I get the flip flop? Obviously not! I kept running with one bare foot, but I quickly lost sight of the bandits among the traffic. I looked around expecting someone on a motorbike to help me chase them. A kind old man on an ancient scooter stopped! I hopped on and we headed in the thieves’ direction, then, at the first intersection, we realized they could have gone any direction. They were gone. I got a ride back to my shoe in the middle of the road, and stood in the dust.

Ice Cheese Takeaway.

Have some ice cheese?
“What’s that?” I asked.
Frozen cheese dessert.
“Like cheese cake?”
No. Ice cheese. Not cake.
“Ok, I’ll have one to go.”
To go?
“Yeah, to take home.”
Oh, kay. One ice cheese takeaway.

One of the best mascarpone cheese cakes I’ve ever had, frozen.

 

5 things I learned in Asia, so far…

1. Don’t hide your moneybelt in your laundry bag. If you’re forgetful like me, you might give it to the laundromat and get stuck in Thailand for 3 weeks while you’re sorting out a new passport. If you’re not forgetful like me, don’t do it anyways – that’s just a bad idea.

2. Slow the f#$k down! I can thank Savic for this priceless advice! If someone is rushing you or overly eager to “help” with something, they’re probably trying to rip you off.  I had enough sense to ask an eager saleslady what the difference was between her bus ticket and the chilled out salesperson’s beside her. She said, “same price”. So I pondered for a few seconds, looked around and noticed there were different types of buses outside. I asked “same bus?” I avoided the crowded little minivan and instead had an air-conditioned, massaging-seat VIP double-decker coach. When I got off the comfy bus at 5am I had to chase a taxi driver through a crowded terminal in Bangkok because he picked up my bag and ushered me to follow him. He kept asking “where you going?” and I kept saying “Stop, I don’t need a taxi”, to which he replied “where you going?” and kept walking. He was certain wherever I was going he would take me. After he put my bag in the trunk of the taxi I asked how much to the Canadian Embassy? “400 Baht.” I took my bag out of the trunk and walked back where I came from, then sat for 5 minutes and read my map. I then took the clean, air-conditioned subway to my destination for 40 Baht.

3. If you know a ladyboy is a ladyboy, pretend you don’t know. I got my ass kicked by a ladyboy…

4. Happy hour exists because when it rains, it pours. Literally. Every time. When in Singapore, take cover in the closest bar and order a drink to pass the time. Rain time = happy hour.

5. If you need something soon, act like you need it ASAP. If you need something ASAP, make other plans.

Going down?

At the top of an escalator was a scrawny 3 or 4-year-old boy whimpering as he nervously tried to put a foot on the moving steps. His mother was halfway down and getting further away, shouting to him in a foreign language. I walked over, picked the boy up under his arms, got on the escalator and carefully set him down beside me. He stood stiff as a statue and stared at his mother as we rode the escalator down, then I picked him up and placed him on solid ground. I was expecting to get whacked by the mother’s purse, but I got a better surprise – she joyously thanked me, a lot!

Huh, That Was Unexpected.

 

“Can I marry you?” he shouted as he drove by on a scooter…

A bank machine just ate my card. I was so excited to find an HBSC Bank – my home bank! I entered my pin, typed an amount, hit enter, and the machine spit out a receipt, “Card Retained.” The ATM gave no reason, and the bank is closed. I have 27RM ($9) in my pocket to last me 14 hours til the bank reopens.

Yesterday the police stopped me as I was walking down the street. I must have looked suspicious with my green skirt, pink shirt and frizzy hair. An officer asked me to “stand over there” as two others approached me…Then he held up a cell phone and told me to “smile!”

“CAN I MARRY YOU? WHERE YOU FROM…” a man shouted to me as he drove by on his scooter. Half a minute later he drove back the other direction, “WHERE ARE YOU FROM?” I said “NO”. He sadly shook his head and sped off.

I went to the camera museum and the owner gave me a personal guided tour! How kind! As he was explaining the famous photographs on the wall, a single spotlight went out above our heads. He said “huh, that happens every time I show this photo. It’s the first ever known photo of a ghost. It usually turns on again if we walk away.” It did.

Let the random adventures continue!

I got my ass kicked by a ladyboy.

Way to leave Thailand with a bang! As I was running away from the angry ladyboy at the bar I gouged my toe on a stone step and left a trail of blood to my hotel room.  Luckily her vampire senses weren’t up to snuff and I survived the night.

It was my last night in Thailand. I was supposed to leave earlier that day but I missed the boat. Literally. My taxi boat from Railay Beach to Ao Namao left on time, and I was five minutes late. The ladyboy at the travel agency helped me reschedule for the next day, then we had a lovely lunch together!

The ladyboy saw me at the bar that night and waved, so I gave her a friendly wave back and mentioned to my new friend “that’s Jazzy, the ladyboy I had lunch with today! And that’s Amy, her ladyboy friend. How funny that we have the same name?!”  There happened to be a busload of Canadians in the bar and one overheard me. She asked “are those two ladyboys?!.. I knew it!” Ten minutes later Jazzy was escorting me to the washroom. She was angry. “Why you talk shit about me?!” …I didn’t understand so she explained, “You tell everyone we ladyboy!” I profusely apologized, realizing that the news had spread and the busload of Canadians were getting a kick out of it. Amy asked me “are you Canadian?” I didn’t answer and continued to calmly apologize, adding that I think they’re beautiful. The buttering up didn’t distract her and she kept asking until Jazzy answered for me, “yeah, she Canadian.”  A local guy pulled me away just as Amy kicked me in the butt, Muay Thai-style. A couple guys in the bar joined in and held them off, but the ladyboys followed me across the bar and promised to fight me outside. The local stayed with me to wait out the situation, but the ladyboys paced the bar like lions waiting to prance. I was getting nervous. We tried to leave but they stood outside, ready to fight. We waded back inside, through the crowds and out a back door. I ran for my hotel.

A million thanks to Julien and Vivien for being my guardian angels. I met this sweet duo from France at one of the most delicious restaurants in Thailand – Cozy Corner in a tiny town called Trat. Almost two months later on the other side of the country we found ourselves on the same beach, at the same hotel, and by total coincidence, in adjacent rooms! We went to the bar together that evening, then Julien and Vivien took me under their wing. They mended my wound and guarded me through the night. Merci beaucoup!

Bye Chiang Mai. Hello Nan.

Link to photo of Vespresso Cafe on Flickr.
Vespresso cafe in Nan, Thailand. Photo on Flickr.

I’ve moved on. I spent over three lovely weeks in Chiang Mai, cycling daily from cafe to restaurant to crossfit to live music, and doing almost every excursion imaginable: a thai farm cooking class, an elephant park, elephant Mahout training, ziplining, Tiger Kingdom, the night safari, and of course, Poopoopaperpark. Oh yeah, I also visited a hilltribe and a coffee plantation, and did a bit of barrista training. After three weeks the only thing left to do was ride a motorbike like a local, so I did that too.

I was sad about leaving the cafe-crawling capital, but this tiny town called Nan has a certified hipster cafe. I personally certified it when the barrista complimented my Herschel laptop bag.  As if the name didn’t give it away, Vespresso. Half Vespa gallery, half cafe.

Better latte than never.

The Canadian embassy in Bangkok gave me an update: at least 10 more days until my new my passport will be ready. Even though I lost my passport, drivers license and a handful of cash, and I’m waiting 3 weeks for a new passport, I actually feel like I’m winning! Yesterday I tried my 13th cafe in Chiang Mai and arrived just as a coffee cupping class was beginning. I asked,

“Can I learn how to do that too?”
“Yes, ok.”
“Great. When?”
“Right now. Come come.”
“Ok!”

So I learned coffee cupping, the art of smelling and tasting coffee. During this I met Pauline from France who invited me to visit her in France this summer. Deal! Then Pauline introduced me to a latte art afficionado who offered to train me in latte art later this week. Double whammy. Happy St. Patrick’s Day, I think I found the pot of gold.

World Traveller. UX Designer.