Category Archives: Thailand

Thailand

I got my ass kicked by a ladyboy.

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Way to leave Thailand with a bang! As I was running away from the angry ladyboy at the bar I gouged my toe on a stone step and left a trail of blood to my hotel room.  Luckily her vampire senses weren’t up to snuff and I survived the night.

It was my last night in Thailand. I was supposed to leave earlier that day but I missed the boat. Literally. My taxi boat from Railay Beach to Ao Namao left on time, and I was five minutes late. The ladyboy at the travel agency helped me reschedule for the next day, then we had a lovely lunch together!

The ladyboy saw me at the bar that night and waved, so I gave her a friendly wave back and mentioned to my new friend “that’s Jazzy, the ladyboy I had lunch with today! And that’s Amy, her ladyboy friend. How funny that we have the same name?!”  There happened to be a busload of Canadians in the bar and one overheard me. She asked “are those two ladyboys?!.. I knew it!” Ten minutes later Jazzy was escorting me to the washroom. She was angry. “Why you talk shit about me?!” …I didn’t understand so she explained, “You tell everyone we ladyboy!” I profusely apologized, realizing that the news had spread and the busload of Canadians were getting a kick out of it. Amy asked me “are you Canadian?” I didn’t answer and continued to calmly apologize, adding that I think they’re beautiful. The buttering up didn’t distract her and she kept asking until Jazzy answered for me, “yeah, she Canadian.”  A local guy pulled me away just as Amy kicked me in the butt, Muay Thai-style. A couple guys in the bar joined in and held them off, but the ladyboys followed me across the bar and promised to fight me outside. The local stayed with me to wait out the situation, but the ladyboys paced the bar like lions waiting to prance. I was getting nervous. We tried to leave but they stood outside, ready to fight. We waded back inside, through the crowds and out a back door. I ran for my hotel.

A million thanks to Julien and Vivien for being my guardian angels. I met this sweet duo from France at one of the most delicious restaurants in Thailand – Cozy Corner in a tiny town called Trat. Almost two months later on the other side of the country we found ourselves on the same beach, at the same hotel, and by total coincidence, in adjacent rooms! We went to the bar together that evening, then Julien and Vivien took me under their wing. They mended my wound and guarded me through the night. Merci beaucoup!

Coffee, Design, Thailand

Bye Chiang Mai. Hello Nan.

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Link to photo of Vespresso Cafe on Flickr.
Vespresso cafe in Nan, Thailand. Photo on Flickr.

I’ve moved on. I spent over three lovely weeks in Chiang Mai, cycling daily from cafe to restaurant to crossfit to live music, and doing almost every excursion imaginable: a thai farm cooking class, an elephant park, elephant Mahout training, ziplining, Tiger Kingdom, the night safari, and of course, Poopoopaperpark. Oh yeah, I also visited a hilltribe and a coffee plantation, and did a bit of barrista training. After three weeks the only thing left to do was ride a motorbike like a local, so I did that too.

I was sad about leaving the cafe-crawling capital, but this tiny town called Nan has a certified hipster cafe. I personally certified it when the barrista complimented my Herschel laptop bag.  As if the name didn’t give it away, Vespresso. Half Vespa gallery, half cafe.

Asia, Culture, Design, Thailand

Camping out.

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Creative And Meeting Place. That’s what CAMP is! It’s also a brilliant idea. Located on the top floor of a fancy new mall, CAMP is a cafe designed for students or nomads like me to study, create, or meet, and eat. If there weren’t a million other great cafes in Chiang Mai I’d live at camp.

 

Thailand

This is Fat Dog.

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Link to photo of Fat Dog on Flickr.
Fat Dog. Guard at Funky Monkey Guest House in Chiang Mai, Thailand. Photo by Amy Jacobs, Flickr.

“He’s not fat, he’s adorable.”
“You no understand. His name Fat Dog.”
“Oh. Gotcha. Sup Fat Dog?”

We’re best friends now.

Asia, Culture, Nature, Thailand, Thoughts

Enlighten me.

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I’ve seen many Buddhist temples over the last three weeks so when I learned we were going to another temple yesterday I thought “here we go again…” But yesterday’s guide (a local ex-monk of 10 years) took us to a secret temple, unknown to any tourist map. It wasn’t spectacular or ornate like the others; it was simple and purely serene. Built among trees and a waterfall, this Wat’s small cement building for “the old monk” was carved like a tree. Each of the three young monks had his own little 5×7′ hut with a small porch and matching terrace overlooking the city. Their orange umbrellas hung from the rooftops like trumpet flowers.

I learned a few new things at this temple, including how to sit and meditate like a monk (legs crossed right over left, hands resting flat right over left), and that Buddha statues are always men and may look like women because they’re designed to look beautiful. But the most interesting thing I learned is that (according to my Thai ex-monk guide), a Buddha, among other things, is a monk who has achieved enlightenment by realizing the truth about Trikaya. When a monk is a Buddha he can sense things, see his past lives and his future – for some this includes the day he will die. The last Thai Buddha died about 10 years ago. Three days before his death he announced he was going to die. People didn’t believe him, until he was found dead in his bed. Then he was cremated and the proof was in the pudding – his bones burned many colours.

Asia, Nature, Thailand

Sunsets & beaches.

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Ever look at the sunset and say “It’s almost a full moon tonight!?” No?  Really? Ok, probably not… my friend Andrea is special 😉

 

Asia, Culture, Thailand

Colours, numbers, and all that jazz.

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Thailand is a colourful country. There are red and yellow flags flying everywhere, and the occasional purple or blue one too. I asked a local, what’s with the colours?… Each flag honours a member of the royal family, and the colour is based on the day of the week they were born. The King’s flag is yellow for Monday, the Queen’s is blue for Friday, the Princess’ is purple for Saturday… My flag would be pink, for Tuesday! According to this, my optimum professions are policeman, soldier, chemist, cook, and hairdresser… time for a career change.

My room number at the last hotel was 13 that had been changed to 43. So I asked the owner if 13 was unlucky. She laughed, then pointed at a dog… and that’s how many conversations go in Thailand.